彼は嘘つき。。。私を騙された。。

He went after another women and began their intimacy realtionship while we were together. After being badly hurt by him, he promised that he will changed and we agreed to let the time heal the wound to start all over again. I waited for him to restart our relationship. While holding my heart captive for 2 years, he search for his happiness and found one. Sometimes I wonder how come he can be so selfish. Instead of holding on to me and let me suffer from it, WHY didn't he just draw a clear line between us.

I was about to give him my blessing in his marriage but shockingly found out that he started the his current relationship while we were still dating. What a joke.

5 years' relationship with him

2 years' waiting

1+ year's emptiness alone

I guess I'm just as stupid as many of the womens outside as I have wasted over 8 years of my life on someone whom just treated me as a lifeboat when in need and just dump me as he likes. I shall forgive but can NEVER forget those wounds left behind.

I believed one will be hunt by his/ her own guilt for all the wrongdoings. Hence, I shall continue with my life and stop wasting my time any further.

Email Letters and messages:

From: "Bxxxx Lxx" <me@bxxxxlxx.com>

Reply-To: "Bxxxx Lxx" <me@bxxxxlxx.com>

To: "Iris Chang" <iris_here@hotmail.com>

Subject: Re: *muax*

Date: Thu, 1 Apr 2004 16:15:18 +0800

love you.

please take care of yourself ok? i hope that you can be my wife too.

i really hope that i don't disappoint you again.

muax

----- Original Message -----

From: Iris Chang

To: me@bxxxxlxx.com

Sent: Wednesday, March 31, 2004 8:05 PM

Subject: FW: *muax*

I was just clearing up my mail box.... I saw this!! I cried... don't know what else i can do..

You use to be so nice and sweet towards me, but it seems like you have changed. Some times I will sit down by myself and wonder what's life all about?? Last time I’ll have the answer immediately and the answer will be YOU, but now I’m in a total lost.

Now all I can do is to nag at you, hope that time can go faster. How i wish you can put yourself in my shoes and think of my feelings. Hopefully we can get back like last time again. I will only have you in my eyes and like wise, you will only have me in your eyes. Never will make each other upset and disappointed anymore.

I love you and long to be your wife if it's still possible and what you are thinking of.

*muax*

31st March 2004

Iris

----- Original Message -----

From: "Bxxxx Lxx Ix-wxx" <me@bxxxxlxx.com>

Reply-To: "Bxxxx Lxx Ix-wxx" <me@bxxxxlxx.com>

To: "Dar Dar" <iris_here@hotmail.com>

Subject: *muax*

Date: Sun, 23 Jun 2002 20:18:56 +0800

Dearest Honey,

22nd June, 1:22am.

2 1/2 hours before our 37th month anniversary.

Here I am, lying in my dust filled bed with the stench from the brown-stained pillow overwhelming my senses. Though it's just a mere 12 hours before I can hold your warm body in my arms, it seems like such a terribly long time.

While I am here, a day seems like a month and a month feels like a year. Sometimes, I wish that I could run away to a faraway island like Bali together with you and never come back again. sigh.... but i'll miss my mum dearly. She would be the only reason why I would stay in Singapore.

Here in camp, every canteen-meal i take, every marching-step i make, every pushup I do, I just can't stop thinking about you. My heart takes a breather each time flashes of you appears in my mind. You are the only motivation for me to get fit and pass my IPPT test within 2 weeks and spend 3 fun-filled weeks with you.

I know and cannot deny that my body is weak. However, I realised that a person is made up of more than just the body. It consists of 4 major components, mind, body, heart and soul. Thank goodness that it's 3 against 1. Mind wants you to intellectually stimulate my thinking. Heart needs you to comfort my feelings. Soul desires to be at ease and relaxed in your presence.

Through my sessions of communication with you, limited by illegal SMSes and short talks over the handphone, gives me a spark and surge of life. Many a times, tears struggle to fill my eyes after reading or hearing your messages of love.

I feel overjoyed and proud of you when I see you achieving heights that you have never reached before. Especially witnessing you scoring well in your studies and excelling in your career. You are a smart, intelligent lady in my eyes. Don't let your peers distract you or push your confidence down. I will always be around to assist you. Promise.

I really cannot wait for all this to be over, walking down the aisle with you and spending the rest of my life with you. I am counting down the days, hours, minutes and seconds. Exactly 1065 days from now or 25572 hours or 1534320 minutes or 92059200 seconds away before we stay together, forever.

*muax*

22nd June, 2:11am.

Love,

Bxxxx Dar